I’ll be the first to say that I am not the most outgoing person on this planet. I’m shy, I make awkward conversation, and I never really know what to talk about. So when I finally got to a place where I was interested in getting back out there after the break up I was kind of at a loss. I don’t know how to talk to guys, I haven’t had to since I was 17! Life isn’t like the movies where you walk up to a stranger and instantly hit it off (or maybe it is for some people..). That’s why I wanted to talk about getting back out there and how to feel more comfortable and confident while doing it.
- Talk to people from your past: This might be weird for some people if bringing up history isn’t something you’re into. For me, however, I’ve always had a “what if” feeling in the back of my head about one guy in particular from my past. Luckily for me, he’s still single (not sure how but I’ll take it!). Like I’ve said in other update posts we haven’t done anything but talk but we definitely picked up right where we left off. This makes me feel more comfortable having conversations with him (especially those conversations). I’m naturally a flirty person and having someone I know and am comfortable with to flirt with makes the whole process easier.
- Don’t be afraid to talk yourself up: Any accomplishment you’ve made is something to be proud of, so boast a little bit! It’ll give you something to talk about and gives you a nice confidence boost. You worked your ass off for your achievements, don’t keep them all bottled up to yourself.
- Use dating apps: If you’re not comfortable going up to strangers in a bar (like me) use dating apps to meet new people. Sure, you’re going to get your fair share of creeps on any app that you use but the beauty of it is you don’t have to answer them. I’ve started using Tinder and Bumble (I know, I’m slow getting on the bandwagon) and I’ve talked to some nice guys. No one I ever met up with but it was a good way to get myself back into the dating scene.
- Always have a wingman/girl: I don’t mean this in the way most people use it. I mean have someone with you if you are meeting a person from a dating app in person. I’ve gone with my friends more times than I can count when they’ve met with people and it not only makes them more comfortable (even though I’m extremely uncomfortable) but it makes sure that they’re safe (again with the creeps..). The last thing you want is for you or one of your friends to go alone and have something happen.
Getting back out there is hard, especially if you’ve been out of the game for awhile. Hopefully these tips will help you have a little more confidence. Always trust your instincts and go with your gut.
If you have any tips or suggestions leave them in the comments below, I’d love to hear them!