There’s many things that people tell you when you’re going through a break up. “It’s going to be fine”, “you’re better off”, “It gets easier as time goes on”. The list goes on and on, and a lot of it is true. What about the things that people don’t tell you though? Over the past 6 months I’ve been discovering things about my break up with Tyler that no one ever prepared me for. Here are some of the many things that no one told me about breakups.
- It may get easier but it’s still hard. This might be because I’m persistent on staying friends with Tyler. Like I’ve said many times before, he’s my best friend and has shared so much with me that to have him completely out of my life isn’t something I can imagine. Although it has gotten easier there are still days where it hurts, a ton.
- You’ll never forget the memories, the good or the bad. Obviously the good memories are something to look back on and be happy that you shared. The bad memories, however, can haunt you. No matter how hard I try I’ll never forget the conversation that Tyler and I had when we were officially ending things. I’ll never forget the look on his face when I left. I’ll never forget the car ride to my mom’s house and I was leaving everything I’d known behind. It takes a lot to not let these memories consume you. You need to remember that everything happened for a reason.
- The tiniest things can trigger a spiral of emotions. Two songs are the big culprit of this for me…”Middle of a Memory” by Cole Swindell and “Don’t Let Me Down” by Chainsmokers. The Cole Swindell song always reminds me of the feeling of being abandoned while I was supposed to be living the happiest time of my life. We were getting married in a few months, I had just graduated nursing school and passed the NCLEX. In the middle of those memories I was left and nothing will change that or make it an easier pill to swallow. The Chainsmokers song was constantly on when everything was going down. I feel like I was let down by the person who was supposed to be my person. Eating at the place where he proposed triggers me wanting to burst into tears because of how everything changed. There’s many more that I don’t even want to think of right now.
- You’ll still cry. There’s nothing wrong with it. It feels weird to cry around people when its been so long after the break up but believe me you’re not crazy for still crying, and don’t be ashamed to cry around people. There is no point in keeping it all to yourself. Your support people will still be there, trust me.
- Going out will feel weird. Whether it’s a date or out with your friends it’ll feel weird. You spent X amount of years going out with that one person. It’s difficult at first but you need to get back out there and start enjoying yourself. Take a deep breath and leap.
Those are just some of the numerous things that no one told me after my breakup. If you’re feeling these things, or anything, just remember that you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Everyone grieves differently. Be strong and talk to people!