My OkCupid Date: Story Time — April 30, 2017

My OkCupid Date: Story Time

I’m back with another story time. My last post was about moving on and about how I was going to go on a date with a guy from OkCupid. Wanted to share my night with you guys, and write it down for myself to laugh about in years to come.

As a recap, I met this guy and we had been talking for a few weeks and things were going really well. He seemed very nice, smart, has a good job, could make me laugh..the list goes on and on. We originally had plans for dinner and drinks. This changed on either Wednesday or Thursday when he told me his softball league had gotten rained out on Tuesday and Wednesday and the games got rescheduled for Friday. Made perfect sense to me, it had been rainy that week so I rolled with it. We made plans to get drinks late Friday night and get to know one another. Friday rolled around and we were talking like normal. I was getting excited to meet him. I had plans to go out with Megan and her sister at our usual bdubs spot and then I was going to meet him at Maggie Mcfly’s for drinks. Around 10pm he texted me asking if my friends and I wanted to meet him and his roommates at a bar in WeHa. We decided to go with it, probably smarter to meet him with some backup anyways. So we drove out to WeHa. We were looking good and I was still excited.

We got to the bar and found a booth to sit in. He texted me asking where I was and when I told him I found my heart beating faster, I was getting really anxious. Next thing I know, a drunk guy was walking up to us and sitting down and introducing himself as the guy I had been talking to for the past few weeks. He was beyond obnoxious. He was so drunk that I don’t know how he was holding a conversation, although it was mostly with himself to be completely honest. He tried to kiss me, he got one in and then after that I wasn’t having it. I was beyond pissed off. We got to the bar where he started yelling (literally yelling) with some people that I’m convinced he didn’t even know. He then proceeded to buy shots of fireball for at least 8 people, myself included, even though not 15 minutes earlier I had said that if we did a shot I wanted vodka. Then he stepped on my foot and didn’t say sorry, just continued to talk to everyone besides me who he was supposed to be meeting for the first time. I was so fed up that I told him I needed to go to the bathroom and we left. He proceeded to drunk call, snap, and text me because sending me pictures of some other girl saying “onto the next one” is really a way to win a girl over.

As annoyed as I am I learned a lot from this experience. Don’t go into something expecting anything. I was expecting this guy to be a gentlemen just like he had been the few weeks we were talking. People lie, people are good at putting on a fake front. Even knowing this you have to be willing to take the leap of faith and get back out there. You have to remember that all guys aren’t going to be like this (although it might seem like it). Hold onto hope that everything is going to work out in the end, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Guys…some advice for you. If you’re going to meet a girl for the first time, don’t go into it completely drunk. It makes you look like and idiot and the girl is going to leave, trust me.

Moving On — April 25, 2017

Moving On

I know I talk a lot about my relationship and break up with Tyler. I’m sorry if it’s not something that the few followers I have want to read but it’s a huge part of my life and, quite frankly, I use this blog as more of a diary than something that I expect anyone to gain something from (no offense and if I am helping you I am so beyond happy to be of service). If relationship stuff isn’t something you want to read about, you can go ahead and skip this post from me. Trust me I won’t be offended. Those of you that are choosing to stick around, I hope you can relate to me with this one. Here we go.

I’ve talked about how I’ve been on Tinder and now OkCupid which are both apps on your phone for online dating. Both are the same concept, you swipe left if you don’t like the person and right if you do. The difference is with OkCupid you can message the person before you match. I’ve been using this app more recently and like it a lot more. I find there to be less creepy guys looking for a quick hook up (sorry for anyone whose found someone on tinder). Anyways, recently there have been more guys who are messaging me first and aren’t creepy or weird or have something that is off putting for me. I’ve found myself holding longer conversations, exchanging snapchats, and asking if they want to text instead of just talking on the app. This is something I wasn’t really expecting. I find myself checking my phone more frequently to see if the one guy I’ve been talking to texted me back, I get excited when I get a snap from him, and I have no trouble holding a conversation with him. I’m slowly starting to get happy again.

Does this new found happiness mean that I’m finally moving on from Tyler? Is it wrong for me to be excited about meeting this guy? I hope your answer is no, because that’s what mine is. I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks and I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s nothing wrong with moving on. It’s normal, it’s natural. Is it scary? Absolutely. It’s terrifying to think that I might be happy, and maybe even happier, with someone other than Tyler. As terrifying as it is though it’s okay to take the leap of faith. It’s healthy.

So this Friday I’m taking the leap and going out on a date with my OkCupid guy. I’m excited and nervous and terrified and anxious all at the same time but I know it’s for the best. We’re planning on dinner and drinks right now and we’ll see where it goes. I don’t want to jump the gun but I think I could like this guy. Part of me wants to like him. I want to know that I’m capable of liking someone again and having them like me back. It might sound selfish but I need the ego boost. We’ll see how things go on Friday.

Don’t be afraid to move on. Every step forward is one step closer to being happy again. No matter what you might think, you deserve to be happy. Get out there and take that leap, you never know what you might fall into.

Sometimes Adult Life Sucks — April 20, 2017

Sometimes Adult Life Sucks

When I was younger I always wanted to be older and have an adult life. I wanted a full time job, I wanted money, I wanted more responsibility. Fast forward 20 something years and here I am..an adult. I’ll be completely honest with you that being an adult isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Let me explain…

  1. Student loans and bills are super stressful. I get paid biweekly and my checks are decent, but I still struggle to be comfortable which stresses me out more than anyone understands.
  2. Contracts have way too much fine print. I stupidly joined a gym in January. I thought I had read the entire contract front to back and understood it all. I signed away my life for 2 years. This isn’t your typical gym membership either where it’s 10 bucks a month, this is 32 dollars a month and the contract is for 2 years. I called to see if I would be able to cancel the membership and they said only if I died, became disabled, or paid the entire payoff of the membership. Ummm, what?! I know this is mostly on me but come on, a little bit of slack would be great.
  3. Full time jobs are exhausting. I only work 3 days a week and honestly I feel dead to the world when I get home. I spend my days off being low key just because I have no desire to exert energy. It’s usually a struggle to wake up and go to work, and when I don’t have work it’s a struggle to want to do anything.
  4. Your friends will never have the same schedule as you ever again. This might just be for nursing but it’s true. Megan is a full time teacher and that’s what she loves (or so she tells herself…). She works Monday through Friday and has every weekend off. I work 3 random days during the week and work every third weekend. It’s so difficult to have times where I can see her and hang out. Same goes for my nursing friends. I want to hang out with Sarah so badly but we typically have opposite days off. It’s frustrating and quite frankly lonely.

I could probably list 100 more reasons why it sometimes sucks being an adult but I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you’re not at the point where you’re completely an adult, don’t rush it. Enjoy every minute of high school and college. Your time to be an adult will come.

If you are an adult and struggling with it like I am, take some deep breaths and remember you made it this far and that you’re not going to give up now. My dad always told me “it’s going to get harder before it gets easier” and becoming an adult is just another speed bump in the road.

It’s Okay to be Alone — April 12, 2017

It’s Okay to be Alone

Let me be the first to say that I love being in love. I enjoy everything about it. Knowing you have someone who always has your back, who wants to spend as much time with you as possible, and kisses you whenever they want just because they can is something I’ve always longed for and for a long time I had it.

I’ve spent a lot of time looking back through my planner which I’ve made kind of into a journal. This planner is the one that will have my first full year of being single in it. This is something that for 7 years (and really longer than that since I never gave myself a lot of time between breakups in high school) I never had. Everything that I was doing always included a guy. I was always so busy with school and work that the only things I wanted to do were spend time with Tyler. I never really went out or took me time. That changed this year. I started taking me days, getting manis and pedis, randomly driving down to the beach just because I could, starting a career! You name it there’s a chance I tried it this year and I’ve documented it all in this planner. Every ticket stub from a concert or sporting event I went to is in there, baby shower invites, sticky notes with how I was feeling while I was doing what I was doing. Looking back on it I realized how exciting this year has been for me so far. Sure, there have been many low points where I’ve been sad and hated everything but there has been so many more happy times that for once I was okay with doing alone.

So this post is for all the single girls (and guys) out there who are learning how to be alone again. Know that it’s okay, it’s more than okay! It might not seem like it right now but you’re going to make it and you’re going to thrive. Stop spending time alone in your room (although those days are necessary too) and start spending time with your friends! Do the things you always wanted to do..go to that sporting event, schedule that hair appointment, take that trip you’ve always dreamed of. When you do all of this, make sure you document it all somewhere. Look back on it often and remember how good it felt to do something for yourself, without having a boyfriend or girlfriend attached to you. Remember that feeling when you get into your next relationship and always put yourself first, you deserve it.

My Tinder Date Moved Across the Country: Story Time — April 8, 2017

My Tinder Date Moved Across the Country: Story Time

I’m back with another story time and this one is one for the books. I went on my first “Tinder Date” on March 16th and it has its ups and downs to say the least. Let me start from the beginning.

I began talking to Ryan earlier that week. We hit it off right quickly and it seemed like we just clicked. I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if he texted me and we were up all hours of the night talking. I obviously wouldn’t say I was in love or anything to that extreme but I genuinely liked him (and how hot he was didn’t hurt either). We talked about our pasts, where we want to go in life, and our career choices. I found out early on that he was in Submarine school down by the shore. I love a guy in uniform! We kept talking until one of my days off I decided to take a road trip down to the beach (in March…) to clear my head. He just so happened to get out of class that night and not have any plans so we decided to meet up.

He had mentioned earlier through text that he was in his last week of Submarine school and would be leaving CT really soon. I didn’t think much of this when he told me since I figured I either wouldn’t meet him or if I did it wouldn’t be anything. So I decided to meet him, and it was the best decision I ever made. We hit it off, there were no awkward moments (although we both admit that we’re extremely awkward so that could be why), and we had a great time. He was the perfect gentlemen, sexy as ever, and that accent!!! We stayed out late that night and when it was time to leave I didn’t want to. Again, not in love but definitely liked him. We kept talking, and talking, and talking. We wanted to get together again before he went back to Maryland before going to his next base but it never worked out. We kept talking every single day though.

Finally his graduation came and went and before I knew it he sent me a snap saying he was heading out of CT. To tell you the truth I was pretty sad. Sad that I didn’t get to say goodbye, didn’t get to give him a good luck hug. I found comfort in the fact knowing that he was going to be in Maryland for the next few weeks on leave though. Not that I planned on seeing him but knowing that he wasn’t all that far gone.

Yesterday, April 7th, my sailor boarded a plan for the best adventure I could ever wish for him. He flew out to Washington state, across the country, to his new base and a lifetime of memories. He had told me awhile ago that he had no intention of coming back to the east coast, and quite frankly I don’t blame him. My first tinder date left for across the country and never looked back. I’m happy for him, don’t get me wrong, and we do still talk on the daily. I may have lost a tinder date but I gained a friend and he’s one of the best.

The moral of the story…don’t be afraid to meet your tinder dates (unless they’re super creepy). I took a chance and found some happiness, even if it was just for a night. Ryan changed my perspective on guys and gave me new hope for the future. You never know where you’re going to end up in life, maybe he’ll be back in CT or maybe I’ll end up in Seattle. Never the less, I took a leap of faith and it didn’t bite me in the ass. I miss him like crazy and wish I could have given him a goodbye hug but sometimes things don’t work out how we want. I wish him nothing but the best, I hope he’s safe out there fighting for our country,¬†and I hope he finds the girl he looks at like he does chicken tenders :).

Fighting with your Best Friend — April 5, 2017

Fighting with your Best Friend

Can I just say that fighting with your best friend is the absolute worst? They’re supposed to be your ride or die, your go to person, the one you talk to about everything and then all of the sudden it all stops. How do you deal with it? How do you swallow your pride and forgive one another for what ever is the cause of your silence?

The thing is, no matter what you’re fighting about isn’t worth it. Remember that. Let me tell you a little story about me and my best friend Megan.

We’ve been best friends since we were 3 years old. We did everything together all through elementary and middle school. We went our separate ways in high school but we still talked every day. She went out of state for college but again, every single day we were talking. Finally we both graduated and she was moving back home for good! I was thrilled, it was going to be the two of us against the world again. Things started out great and we were seeing each other and catching up on everything. We made it a tradition to go out every Friday that I wasn’t working and be the best friends that we were. We would always go to BWW, the bartender knew us and it was a great time. Until it wasn’t. One weekend she decided she wanted to drive 40 minutes away to meet a guy on our Friday night traditions. This would be fine and dandy if she was able to drive, but she doesn’t so I would be the one driving almost an hour one way to be a 3rd wheel. I wasn’t happy about it. I yelled at her and told her I wouldn’t do it. I was the one who had to work the next morning and driving that far was going to get me nothing besides a drink, maybe. We didn’t talk for almost 2 weeks.

Finally I swallowed my pride. I apologized for freaking out and explained to her my side of it. I’m not a chauffer for her to go hook up with guys. I’m not going to always be her 3rd wheel and if she wants to do that she has to figure out how to get there on her own. I’m sad to say that even though things are getting better with us they’re still not 100% the same.. So how do we work at this? We keep fighting for our friendship. We don’t give up on one another.

No matter how big the blow up or how much you think it’s over and that’s it, you fight. Fight for your best friend because in the end they’re the one that’s going to be there for you. They’re your biggest fan, the one cheering you on the most, the one looking out for your best interest. Friends are forever, especially when they make it as long as Megan and I have been friends. You figure it out and you make it work.