I’ll admit it, I have some crazy to me. I always thought that I’ve had it pretty under control though. I don’t freak out if someone doesn’t text me back (although I do find myself checking my phone a lot to see if they have). I don’t need to constantly be with my friends or a guy, I’m more than content being alone most of the time. I can keep listing things but that’s not the purpose of this post. Let me start from the beginning.
I started talking to this guy from OKCupid a few weeks ago. We’ve been talking basically every day and are really hitting it off in my opinion. We have a ton in common, he makes me laugh, and I feel completely comfortable telling him just about anything which is nuts since I haven’t even met him yet. We had planned to meet on Memorial Day since we were both off. That ended up not happening. I was sad I’ll admit. I got my hopes up and was excited to meet him and hang out and then in the blink of an eye it wasn’t happening. Then I went away on vacation (more posts on that to come!) and even though I was gone I still found myself thinking about meeting him and we talked every day even if it was for a few minutes. We made a plan to meet this coming Sunday and I started getting really excited again. The whole rest of the trip I was thinking about meeting him and what we would do and how I hoped we would hit it off as much as we have through text. I flew home last night and he told me that his grandfather wasn’t doing too well and his family had left the state and he was the only one there to take care of him. Now I’m not someone to jump to conclusions and think someone is making stuff up, especially when something is of this proportion. You don’t just lie about these things, right? We’ve been talking very little yesterday and today and I can only imagine it’s because of everything going on. This is where I start to think I’m more crazy than I thought I was…
Most of the day today I’ve been thinking about how we haven’t been talking as much as we have been and wondering if it was because of me. Did he not want to meet me anymore? Is he not interested? Did I do something to make him not want to talk? Is there something wrong with me? I’ve had countless thoughts like this running through my head most of the day. Am I crazy? Have I become the crazy girls that overanalyze everything and think that everything is wrong with them? I really hope not.
I’m extremely sympathetic to his situation right now with his grandfather and I feel terrible. I’ve offered to do anything if he needs it or be someone to listen if he needs to vent. As sympathetic as I am, however, I still want to know what’s going on for our date on Sunday. I don’t want to get my hopes up again and have it come crashing down again. Maybe I think I could like him and don’t want to get hurt like I have in the past. Maybe I really do think something is wrong with me or that he isn’t interested.
I guess I’m writing about this for some opinions. Am I really more crazy than I thought? I don’t want him to think I expect him to drop everything for this date but I also know that if he really is the only one taking care of his grandfather that he needs some time away and to not think about it for a few hours. I don’t know. Just a random ramble.