Somewhere on a Beach — June 14, 2017

Somewhere on a Beach

I’ve wanted to go to Punta Cana for as long as I can remember.  June 4th-9th I finally made it a reality, and I got to do it with my best friend by my side.

We started planning this trip in January 2017. We met with the travel agent (who was amazing!), talked about what we wanted in a trip (all inclusive and beach), and did our research on the resorts in the area. We started counting down the days, saving our singles for tipping, and buying completely new wardrobes. FINALLY the day came that we were going to fly out of the country and be somewhere on a beach sipping something strong.

I were flying out of JFK which is about a 2 hour drive from my friend’s house. I picked her up at the ass crack of dawn and we were on our way. Our flight took off around 12pm and a little less than 4 short hours later we were landing in paradise. We somehow managed to get through customs with everyone yelling in Spanish and figured out which shuttle was taking us to our resort. We stayed at the Luxury Bahia Principe Esmeralda (I’m going to write an entire review in another post). We checked in, got settled, and went and started drinking. This was the theme of the entire week. We swam in the ocean, swam in the pool, got burnt and tan, and had the time of our lives. It was exactly what I needed with everything that had been going on with work and at home. Beyond relaxing, beyond calming, and most of all beyond worth it.

Sunday night was a chill night since we had travelled all day. We got some dinner from the buffet, drank to our hearts content, and got to sleep fairly early.

Monday we got our spot on the beach and spent a good portion of the day there with the drinks flowing, the breeze blowing through our hair, and the salt water all over our skin. We made our way over to the pool and the swim up bar and kept the day going. We went to dinner (Italian) and then headed back to the room for a quick nap. We ended the night at the club and danced like no one was watching.

Tuesday we were pretty burnt so we spent the morning at the pool under a tiki hut and occasionally venturing out into the sun. We braved heading off the resort for a tour of some place (it was all through our travel agent’s company). Quite frankly it wasn’t all that exciting but I was able to get my souvenir tshirt. We had Brazilian for dinner and then watched some of the entertainment of the night on the resort.

Wednesday was another pool day. More alcohol, more sun, more memories. We had Asian for dinner and then again spent the night at the club dancing away.

Thursday (our last full day) we were very conscious of the time because we knew it was the last time we would get to do anything. We spent the morning at the pool and taking it all in. The people, the music, the sun, everything. In the afternoon we went down to the beach again to take it all in. We floated in the ocean talking about how we didn’t want to go back to reality. We started thinking about our next vacation that we would take together. We were there until the sun started to set. We had Dominican food for dinner and sadly started to pack everything up.

Friday was a wash of a day. We had to check out by 12pm and the shuttle was picking us up at 1pm. Our flight wasn’t until 515pm so we were waiting at the airport for a loooong time. We made it home and made the treck back to CT from JFK. I got home around 1230am. Sad and cranky (I hadn’t eaten) I walked in the door and thus ended the vacation of a lifetime.

I know this is a super quick breakdown of everything that happened that week but there really isn’t any way to put into words how this vacation made me feel. My biggest recommendation is that if you want to travel, DO IT! Do it with you best friend, your significant other, your family, anyone. Enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. Everyone deserves the chance to be somewhere on a beach.

Punta Cana Packing List — May 30, 2017

Punta Cana Packing List

There are 5 days until I hop on a plane and leave the country with my best friend! 5 days!!! I’m beyond excited. We’ve been planning this trip since February and it’s finally at our fingertips.

I tend to be an over packer so I made a packing list for the trip. I’m going to post it here. Let me know if you have anything I should add or take off. Also, let me know if you have any advice on what we should do besides drink ourselves silly :)!

Punta Cana Packing List

My Best Friend Became a Police Officer — May 15, 2017

My Best Friend Became a Police Officer

I never thought I’d be able to say those words. I couldn’t be more excited or scared or anxious for him all at the same time. I’m getting ahead of myself though…

I’ve known Tyler since 2009. I was 17 years old and we both had the entire future to think about. He told me on our first date that he wanted to be a cop and that he had wanted that since he was about 10. Now I know all little boys want to be some kind of super hero, whether it be a cop, firefighter, EMT, etc. I also know that as these little boys grow up they tend to lose this idea and pick something based off of their interests. With Tyler, his interests were police officers and the law and the history that came along with it. We continued our relationship and when he turned 21 he started applying to police academies (you have to be 21 to start applying apparently..who knew?).

We were living together and I had watched him apply for countless academies, spend an insane amount of money on the testing, and wait anxiously for his authorization to test. I had seen him go and take the written test and fail by 1 point. I had seen him pass the written test and go to take the physical and miss something on it by seconds. I had seen the heartache and the tears and the feeling of defeat. I also saw the determination and drive that these setbacks gave him. Even though we were living paycheck to paycheck and trying to figure life out, I never stopped encouraging this dream (and I’ll be honest, there are times I wasn’t 100% sure it would happen for him). I watched him study longer, train harder. Finally one day he received the testing information for the NHPD. He passed that test with flying colors and was given the authorization to test for the physical exam. Again, he passed and there was no looking back. He went through the entire hiring process which took months. There were background investigations, reference interviews, meetings with the board of commissioners. He did it all and he was placed on their hiring list. Things got rocky with us and we broke up but he stuck to his guns and didn’t let the bad situation get to him. He started the NHPD academy on October 3, 2016.

The first week he told me was hell. We had gone out to dinner one night and he told me he wanted to quit, it was too much, he couldn’t do it. I looked him dead in the eye and told him no. He had come so far and worked way too hard to quit in the first week. If he wasn’t going to make it it would be due to him not being able to complete something, not because he quit. He stuck it out. Over the next 7 months I watched him gain more knowledge, become more street savvy, become stronger mentally and physically. I listened to him talk about learning the radio signals, taught him how to tread water so he could pass the swimming portion of the class, and heard stories about getting pepper sprayed and tear gassed. I watched his eyes beam brighter each and every time we talked. I saw him go from a civilian to a police officer right before my eyes. 7 months of hell, 7 months of stress, 7 months of developing a brotherhood that I know will be with him forever.

On May 12, 2017 I got to witness that brotherhood take their oath and be sworn in as officers of the NHPD. He won an award for graduating top of his class. He walked across that stage with his head held high as he got his badge. My best friend made his biggest dream a reality that night and it’s only just beginning.

Image may contain: 3 people, people standing

If you ever read this Tyler, know that I’m so unbelievably proud of you. I saw the struggle, I saw the tears and I shared them with you, and I saw you overcome everyone telling you no. I’m proud to be your best friend and honored to have been able to see this dream come true. Be smart, be safe, have fun, and go give ’em hell! No matter what know that I’ve always got your six.

Sometimes Adult Life Sucks — April 20, 2017

Sometimes Adult Life Sucks

When I was younger I always wanted to be older and have an adult life. I wanted a full time job, I wanted money, I wanted more responsibility. Fast forward 20 something years and here I am..an adult. I’ll be completely honest with you that being an adult isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Let me explain…

  1. Student loans and bills are super stressful. I get paid biweekly and my checks are decent, but I still struggle to be comfortable which stresses me out more than anyone understands.
  2. Contracts have way too much fine print. I stupidly joined a gym in January. I thought I had read the entire contract front to back and understood it all. I signed away my life for 2 years. This isn’t your typical gym membership either where it’s 10 bucks a month, this is 32 dollars a month and the contract is for 2 years. I called to see if I would be able to cancel the membership and they said only if I died, became disabled, or paid the entire payoff of the membership. Ummm, what?! I know this is mostly on me but come on, a little bit of slack would be great.
  3. Full time jobs are exhausting. I only work 3 days a week and honestly I feel dead to the world when I get home. I spend my days off being low key just because I have no desire to exert energy. It’s usually a struggle to wake up and go to work, and when I don’t have work it’s a struggle to want to do anything.
  4. Your friends will never have the same schedule as you ever again. This might just be for nursing but it’s true. Megan is a full time teacher and that’s what she loves (or so she tells herself…). She works Monday through Friday and has every weekend off. I work 3 random days during the week and work every third weekend. It’s so difficult to have times where I can see her and hang out. Same goes for my nursing friends. I want to hang out with Sarah so badly but we typically have opposite days off. It’s frustrating and quite frankly lonely.

I could probably list 100 more reasons why it sometimes sucks being an adult but I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you’re not at the point where you’re completely an adult, don’t rush it. Enjoy every minute of high school and college. Your time to be an adult will come.

If you are an adult and struggling with it like I am, take some deep breaths and remember you made it this far and that you’re not going to give up now. My dad always told me “it’s going to get harder before it gets easier” and becoming an adult is just another speed bump in the road.

It’s Okay to be Alone — April 12, 2017

It’s Okay to be Alone

Let me be the first to say that I love being in love. I enjoy everything about it. Knowing you have someone who always has your back, who wants to spend as much time with you as possible, and kisses you whenever they want just because they can is something I’ve always longed for and for a long time I had it.

I’ve spent a lot of time looking back through my planner which I’ve made kind of into a journal. This planner is the one that will have my first full year of being single in it. This is something that for 7 years (and really longer than that since I never gave myself a lot of time between breakups in high school) I never had. Everything that I was doing always included a guy. I was always so busy with school and work that the only things I wanted to do were spend time with Tyler. I never really went out or took me time. That changed this year. I started taking me days, getting manis and pedis, randomly driving down to the beach just because I could, starting a career! You name it there’s a chance I tried it this year and I’ve documented it all in this planner. Every ticket stub from a concert or sporting event I went to is in there, baby shower invites, sticky notes with how I was feeling while I was doing what I was doing. Looking back on it I realized how exciting this year has been for me so far. Sure, there have been many low points where I’ve been sad and hated everything but there has been so many more happy times that for once I was okay with doing alone.

So this post is for all the single girls (and guys) out there who are learning how to be alone again. Know that it’s okay, it’s more than okay! It might not seem like it right now but you’re going to make it and you’re going to thrive. Stop spending time alone in your room (although those days are necessary too) and start spending time with your friends! Do the things you always wanted to do..go to that sporting event, schedule that hair appointment, take that trip you’ve always dreamed of. When you do all of this, make sure you document it all somewhere. Look back on it often and remember how good it felt to do something for yourself, without having a boyfriend or girlfriend attached to you. Remember that feeling when you get into your next relationship and always put yourself first, you deserve it.

Fighting with your Best Friend — April 5, 2017

Fighting with your Best Friend

Can I just say that fighting with your best friend is the absolute worst? They’re supposed to be your ride or die, your go to person, the one you talk to about everything and then all of the sudden it all stops. How do you deal with it? How do you swallow your pride and forgive one another for what ever is the cause of your silence?

The thing is, no matter what you’re fighting about isn’t worth it. Remember that. Let me tell you a little story about me and my best friend Megan.

We’ve been best friends since we were 3 years old. We did everything together all through elementary and middle school. We went our separate ways in high school but we still talked every day. She went out of state for college but again, every single day we were talking. Finally we both graduated and she was moving back home for good! I was thrilled, it was going to be the two of us against the world again. Things started out great and we were seeing each other and catching up on everything. We made it a tradition to go out every Friday that I wasn’t working and be the best friends that we were. We would always go to BWW, the bartender knew us and it was a great time. Until it wasn’t. One weekend she decided she wanted to drive 40 minutes away to meet a guy on our Friday night traditions. This would be fine and dandy if she was able to drive, but she doesn’t so I would be the one driving almost an hour one way to be a 3rd wheel. I wasn’t happy about it. I yelled at her and told her I wouldn’t do it. I was the one who had to work the next morning and driving that far was going to get me nothing besides a drink, maybe. We didn’t talk for almost 2 weeks.

Finally I swallowed my pride. I apologized for freaking out and explained to her my side of it. I’m not a chauffer for her to go hook up with guys. I’m not going to always be her 3rd wheel and if she wants to do that she has to figure out how to get there on her own. I’m sad to say that even though things are getting better with us they’re still not 100% the same.. So how do we work at this? We keep fighting for our friendship. We don’t give up on one another.

No matter how big the blow up or how much you think it’s over and that’s it, you fight. Fight for your best friend because in the end they’re the one that’s going to be there for you. They’re your biggest fan, the one cheering you on the most, the one looking out for your best interest. Friends are forever, especially when they make it as long as Megan and I have been friends. You figure it out and you make it work.

Dealing with Anxiety — March 23, 2017

Dealing with Anxiety

I’m sure we’ve all been anxious and over emotional about things before, I know I sure have. Lately I’ve been feeling extremely anxious, stressed out, and not really sure what is going on with my life. Let me explain…

I feel like my life is at a complete standstill. I go to work to pay my bills and I occasionally go out and have fun. I feel like I’m in a rut and I don’t know how to combat it. I also have been struggling with everything with Tyler and what happened between us. When I think that I’m doing okay and getting past the hurt, I break down and cry. I know this is normal but it completely crushes me.

I want my life back. I miss everything. Living at home I’m struggling with, I miss having my own house that’s completely mine. I miss having someone to come home to every day. I miss feeling loved.

I’m not sure if this is all hitting me because my birthday is next week or what, but this isn’t how I pictured starting 25.

How I’m dealing with it is crying and talking to my best friends. Believe it or not, Zach has given me some of the best advice and I can’t thank him enough. He told me last night “You worked your ass off to become a nurse and guess what dumbass you’re a nurse! You don’t need a relationship to be happy, I hope you know that. Love yourself and the rest will fall into place.” Seriously, what guy says that?! He’s honestly the best but I’ll never tell him that to his face :p.

What he said though is the truth. Everyone needs to love themselves before they can let someone else in to love them. Try as we might we need to accept this for what it is. When we finally love ourselves the rest doesn’t matter.

Take a deep breath in and let it out. Let the anxiety drift away and know that in the end it’s going to all work out.

Music is Healing — March 19, 2017

Music is Healing

Have you ever had a song or a band that puts everything into perspective for you? Something that you can listen to over and over, never get sick of, and somehow it/they always find a way to hit home with you? That’s how Florida Georgia Line is for me.

Last weekend I went to their concert at the casino. This was my 3rd time seeing them and you would think that I would be sick of them by now, right? WRONG! I could see the same show 10 different times and I think the music would effect me just as much. I love that they have songs that are upbeat and get you moving, songs that get you thinking, and songs that give you hope.

As much of a super fan as I would like to consider myself, I haven’t had the chance to really listen to their new album until recently. I don’t know if I was worried it wouldn’t be as good or what but I finally bit the bullet when I was having a really down day and listened to it all. Let me tell you, their music always does it. They have a song called “Music is Healing” and it does exactly that. I don’t know what it is about the song but I always have so much hope when I listen to it. Hope that I’m going to figure things out, hope that everything that’s happened isn’t going to be what defines me, hope that things will change. The first time the song honestly brought me to tears. Maybe I was just being over emotional but I really think it was something more than that.

Anyways, I wanted to ease myself back into blogging. I know its been awhile but life tends to get in the way.

Let me know what songs or bands get you going. Also, let me know what you want me to write about. Sometimes I have stuff, sometimes not so much.

Freaking Out… — February 24, 2017

Freaking Out…

Just a little bit though, and all for good reasons. Things have shockingly been looking up for me lately. I’m not trying to jinx it so maybe talking about it her as opposed to out loud nothing will go wrong? Sure, I’ll stick with that.

First things first, I got promoted! That’s right, your girl is going to be full time starting April 9th! I’ll be a 36 hour RN working 3 12s a week as opposed to 32 hours working 4 8s. It’ll be a big adjustment but making more money and having more time off will be great for me. I’ll be able to take time to relax and enjoy life a little bit more.

Going along with that I get to go from working every other weekend to every 3rd. Since I’ve worked on all 3 of the weekend options I had a preference which weekend I wanted to be on. Never in a million years did I think that I’d get put on my favorite weekend. Low and behold my boss came to me yesterday and told me that I would be on the weekend that I loved! It honestly couldn’t get better. I love working weekends with this crew and it’s going to make my transition that much better.

Another exciting topic is I’M GOING TO PUNTA CANA!!!!! This summer I’m leaving the country with one of my best friends Sarah and we’re going to be somewhere on a beach sipping something strong. I literally could not be more excited than I am about this trip. I’m planning on doing a packing post as well as a review of the place that we stay. 100 days until we’re on a plane, but who’s counting :).

My birthday is coming up. The big 25, quarter of a century. I haven’t done something big that I planned for my birthday in a long as I can remember. Well this year Sarah and I are planning a big bash. We’re going to go out on the town while drinking and dancing the night away. I’m so excited to have a night all about me and celebrating with some of my closest friends.

Last MAJOR freak out topic is Pat. If you remember me writing a post about him going completely AWOL around New Year’s you know where we last stood in January. Welllllllll, we started talking again. Now let me set the record straight that I didn’t initiate it, sort of. I was on Bumble on Valentine’s Day laughing at all the pathetic profiles and swiping left. Little did I know that Mr. Pat’s profile would pop up. I swiped right for the hell of it. About an hour later I get a text message jokingly saying to stop matching with him. The conversation went on from there and we haven’t stopped talking since. Things are definitely different (I might write a post about it) but he’s still an amazing man and friend. We hung out for the first time since we started talking again last night and we picked up right where we left off. I can tell he’s got a lot on his mind and that he’s stressed but I’m not trying to push the issue. I’m just happy I have him back, even if it’s for a little bit. Might not be the way I want but I’ll take anything at this point.

So there’s a little update on me. Tell me about your freak out moments that have come up recently.

Writer’s Block — February 13, 2017

Writer’s Block

Hey everyone,

Sorry its been a hot minute. I have an extreme case of writer’s block. I don’t know what it is. I can’t think of anything of interest lately. Nothing exciting has happened in my life lately, work is the same old. I can’t think of any tips or tricks that I can share.

If anyone who reads my nonsense wants to suggest what they want me to write about, I’m all ears. Reach out to me and let me know what you want to see!