Starting My Weight Loss Journey

I was a super chunky kid in elementary and middle school. At that point I knew it was an issue but it never overly bothered me. I went to a small Catholic school and the kids weren’t mean, we were all close knit. I went to high school and started being more active on the swim team and dating. I was losing weight and I loved the new person I was becoming. Fast forward to the summer going into senior year and I met Tyler. We were in a relationship for 7 years and during that time I got extremely comfortable. I noticed myself gaining the weight back that I had worked hard on losing and I was starting to hate myself again. I still do hate how I look. This is why I’m finally saying enough is enough and I’m going to start a weight loss journey.

Starting July 1st I’m going to become a more dedicated person to myself. Writing it down is hopefully going to keep me accountable and I’m going to document my journey along the way.

I have a few ways I’m going to try and shed some pounds…

• Go to the gym/home workouts: I currently pay for a gym membership that I don’t use. That’s going to change and I’m going to make the money I spend on it worth while. I also have access to a youtube channel and I want to find some home workouts for when I don’t feel like hitting the gym. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated 🙂
• Water, please!: I’m going to cut out soda and increase my water intake. I’m not a soda crazy person but I do enjoy it. I want to see if cutting it out completely will help make any difference. I’m also going to *try* and cut back on alcohol. I won’t like, I like to drink and I can throw back more than I’d like to admit. I’ll let myself indulge but I’m going to try not to go as hard as I do as often as I do.
• Diet: I’m going to try and eat healthier. I’m also going to work on moderation. I’m not going to deprive myself of something if I want it though. If I want some ice cream or brownies I’m going to eat it, just not in as big of quantities as I currently do. I’m not huge on meal prepping but I might give it a shot (if my brother doesn’t eat it from under me!). I’m also going to work on cutting out fast food/take out.
• Scale: I’m going to embrace it and step on the scale. I’m hoping that keeping track will keep me motivated. I want to see the numbers go down and use that as my drive to keep it up.

That’s all I can really come up with now. If anyone has any suggestions please share them! I’m open to anything. It’s time for me to become accountable and start feeling good about myself.

 

Dealing with Anxiety

I’m sure we’ve all been anxious and over emotional about things before, I know I sure have. Lately I’ve been feeling extremely anxious, stressed out, and not really sure what is going on with my life. Let me explain…

I feel like my life is at a complete standstill. I go to work to pay my bills and I occasionally go out and have fun. I feel like I’m in a rut and I don’t know how to combat it. I also have been struggling with everything with Tyler and what happened between us. When I think that I’m doing okay and getting past the hurt, I break down and cry. I know this is normal but it completely crushes me.

I want my life back. I miss everything. Living at home I’m struggling with, I miss having my own house that’s completely mine. I miss having someone to come home to every day. I miss feeling loved.

I’m not sure if this is all hitting me because my birthday is next week or what, but this isn’t how I pictured starting 25.

How I’m dealing with it is crying and talking to my best friends. Believe it or not, Zach has given me some of the best advice and I can’t thank him enough. He told me last night “You worked your ass off to become a nurse and guess what dumbass you’re a nurse! You don’t need a relationship to be happy, I hope you know that. Love yourself and the rest will fall into place.” Seriously, what guy says that?! He’s honestly the best but I’ll never tell him that to his face :p.

What he said though is the truth. Everyone needs to love themselves before they can let someone else in to love them. Try as we might we need to accept this for what it is. When we finally love ourselves the rest doesn’t matter.

Take a deep breath in and let it out. Let the anxiety drift away and know that in the end it’s going to all work out.